


Little Talks

by CartoonJessie



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Rumbelle Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:44:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9534236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie
Summary: Songfic set to "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men. Late Rumbelle Secret Santa Gift for Kacymyth





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheLonelyJournalKeeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLonelyJournalKeeper/gifts).



_OoOoOoO I don't like walking around this old and empty house OoOoOoO_

The first time he had announced he was out on business for a day, Belle had not thought of running away. She had wanted to see what secrets he kept in his massive castle.

At first she had been excited to snoop around, but more rooms were empty than not, save for some spiders. The evenings and nights were the worst though, when all was dark. She would often retreat in the Great Hall, close to the fire, but sometimes it seemed like the wind howled around the castle – and she wasn’t sure if that was the wind at all. Even books could not distract her mind then, as she imagined ghosts and monsters around every corner, simultaneously hoping she was safe.

_OoOoOoO So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear OoOoOoO_

Even though he had given her a room now – her very own library for her to sleep in – he sometimes still felt like she didn’t feel at home.

Well, perhaps that was normal, considering the fact that this wasn’t her true home – and he wasn’t her family.

But still, she seemed ill at ease, but not necessarily in the moments when he was around. She had become quite used to him, but in those moments when she thought he was gone, she was jumpy.

It was true that sometimes he would spy on her when he said he’d be gone for a day. It wasn’t like he’d spy on her when she was undressing or anything of the sort, but just when she was in the Great Hall or roaming his corridors, and he had noticed how jumpy she could be, startling at every alien sound.

He even began to dislike leaving her alone for that reason – and after a while he stopped saying he’d leave whenever that wasn’t the case. Even more, he told her exactly where he was whenever he was in the castle, and it seemed to help. She wasn’t as anxious anymore, and even if he was the Dark One, this pleased him.

_OoOoOoO The stairs creak as I sleep, It's keeping me awake OoOoOoO_

There was a storm outside, and Belle had trouble sleeping. The wind was howling again, and as lightning struck, she immediately sat up straight in her bed, her heart beating faster than ever.

She hated lightning – and she hated the sound of the stairs creaking further down the hallway.

Deciding that she did not want to be alone in that moment, she lit a candle and hurried out of her room, wanting to see if Rumplestiltskin was in the Great Hall, but still jumping at every small sound the castle made.

_OoOoOoO It's the house telling you to close your eyes OoOoOoO_

The storm had distracted his mind from spinning, and wondering if Belle had awoken because of it, he stood up from behind the spinning wheel and slowly made his way up to the library.

He met her, however, on top of the stairs, noticing how she looked terrified as she looked around.

“Up for a midnight snack?” he asked her in a shrill voice, only joking, but she startled visibly. Apparently she hadn’t even noticed him before.

She shook her head, and noticing how she was afraid, he walked closer to her and pointed in the direction of the library.

“Let me escort you back to your room. You will need your sleep for tomorrow.”

She nodded quickly and obeyed him silently, but he kept his hand on the small of her back as he walked her back to her room.

“The castle makes a lot of noise,” she said quietly as the rain tapped against the window and she heard the staircase creak again.

“It’s not called the dark castle for nothing,” he teased her, but as he saw her shocked expression, he realized that he shouldn’t have. She was only more terrified now.

As they arrived by her door, Rumplestiltskin followed her in, something he usually didn’t do. As she sat down on the reading bench that doubled as her bed, he summoned her some tiny cotton balls and offered them to her.

“For sleeping,” he said. “Put them in your ears…” She gave him a suspicious look, but he merely gave her a patient one in return. “I want you to sleep… The castle wants you to sleep too, even if it’s loud during storms like these.”

She accepted his gift and put them in her ears before she lay down again.

He was about to turn and leave when her voice stopped him for a second.

“Thank you, Rumplestiltskin.”

He smiled. _Silly caretaker._

_OoOoOoO And some days I can't even trust myself OoOoOoO_

She was beginning to care for him. His small gestures to make her feel at ease did not go unnoticed, but every now and then, she doubted if those kind gestures were as well-meant as she would rather believe.

She cleaned his clothes. She saw the blood on his shirts, and she had no idea what he was up to when he was gone. Who knew how many people he killed each time he went away?

And all that while, she still wanted to believe he was a good man, but she forbade herself to think like that. There was evil in him – and just because he was kind to her, did not mean that he was to everyone.

_OoOoOoO It's killing me to see you this way OoOoOoO_

He was in a great mood as he returned to the Dark Castle that evening, even if he was covered in blood.

For the first time in years, he had managed to kill a fairy, and that was always a cause for celebration. He wondered if Belle would like to join him for dinner.

But as he entered the Dark Hall and she looked at him and spotted the blood that was all over him, her face paled, and he knew that she would not celebrate his victory with him.

She did not wish to stay in his presence while he looked like this, and she muttered “I’m going to be sick” before she left the room, actually hurting him more with those words than he had thought he could be hurt.

If only she understood his victory – but she never would. She was too kind-hearted, and he would not be able to change that. He was not willing to change that, either.

_OoOoOoO Cause though the truth may vary - This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore OoOoOoO_

The following morning, as he waited for Belle in the Great Hall, he realized that her approval meant more to him than his joy at killing a fairy. He had had a foul taste in his mouth all night. Not that he regretted murdering one of the Blue Fairy’s accomplices, but he felt horrible because Belle had shut him out the moment she had realized he had murdered again.

As she entered, she was very cool, not looking at him, even if he was wearing clean clothes now.

“I eh… I washed the blood out of my clothes myself,” he said softly, and he saw how she hesitated at those words, looking at him with a bit of suspicion on her face. “I’m sorry for startling you… With all the blood, I mean… I don’t do it to shock you.”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. “Then why do you do it? Kill people?”

“It wasn’t a normal person,” he tried to defend himself – though he had killed normal people before, but he wasn’t going to say that. “It was a foul magical being, who unwantedly meddles with the affairs of mortals.”

She still had her eyes narrowed, not sure what to believe.

“She would have hurt me too, had she had the chance…” he defended himself. “It’s kill or be killed when you’re among the powerful magic users in this realm.”

She supposed that made some sense, and she relaxed slightly, walking over to him and casually leaning against the table, and he followed her and did the same, his hands folded in his lap.

“It’s not particularly attractive,” she said slowly. “Coming in all covered in blood.”

He chuckled. “I doubt the amount of blood on my clothes and body has any influence over my lack of attractiveness,” he joked, and she chuckled.

“You’re not so bad,” she said softly, and her tone surprised him.

As he looked at her in confusion, she shot him an encouraging smile.

“You’re not as ugly as you think you are…”

Something in the way she looked at him gave him hope, and as he turned towards her, he put his hand on her cheek, wondering for a moment if a kiss would be welcome. A kiss with her would be so lovely, he was sure of it.

_OoOoOoO There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back OoOoOoO_

As he slowly leaned in towards her, she put her hand on his chest, the smallest amount of pressure against his skin as she realized she did not want this. Not now. Surely he could not love her? Or could he?

Could she?

He pulled away from her again as he realized she did not want this at all, and she muttered an excuse that she needed to get the tea before she rushed out of the Great Hall.

Whatever that had been in there, she wasn’t sure if that was what she wanted at all. She just didn’t trust him to handle her heart wisely, and she knew she was more than willing to give her heart away, even to a monster like him.

 _Especially_ to an unloved monster like him.

 _OoOoOoO Well tell her that I miss our little talks_ _OoOoOoO_

Rumplestiltskin wasn’t a fool. He noticed how her attitude changed after their almost-kiss. She was cooler, hardly ever looked at him anymore, was now jumpy in his presence, and he felt his heart ache more and more every day.

His heart, which he had forgotten he had.

But she had awoken it, and now he missed their little talks more than anything. But at the same time, he cared too much about her to cause her any discomfort and pain, and so he gave her all the time she needed – hoping that this rift between them would not last forever.

 _OoOoOoO_ _Soon it will all be over, and buried with our past_ _OoOoOoO_

Part of her wanted him to be mean to her.

Part of her wanted him to pursue her, to be an idiot who proved himself unworthy of her love.

But by giving her space, by being kind even now that she had rejected him, he made it impossible for her heart to stop caring for him. But she still hoped that her conflicting feelings would soon be a thing of the past. Any day now, she told herself. Any day now she would no longer want him.

_OoOoOoO We used to play outside when we were young - And full of life and full of love OoOoOoO_

A month had passed since their almost-kiss, and though they hardly spoke anymore, it hurt more each day. She was lonely, and too young to be so alone, but yet she was. But she didn’t blame him for it – she knew it was self-inflicted.

Snow had fallen that night, and as she walked through the gardens in her warmest cloak – one which Rumplestiltskin had provided without her having to ask for it – she enjoyed the morning sun.

She startled, however, when she felt a weight hit her in the back, and she soon realized it was a snowball, tossed by Rumplestiltskin as he was standing behind a tree.

He had a giddy expression on his face, and soon she felt as innocent as a child again, rolling her own snowball to try and hit him back, but he dodged her all too easily before he hit her with another snowball, this time against her skirt.

They laughed and giggled, feeling much younger than they actually were as they played together, for once not feeling lonely at all.

_OoOoOoO Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right. OoOoOoO_

Their game of snowball-throwing soon escalated into a game of trying to get snow into each other’s clothes, and as they were laughing and wrestling for control, they both slipped, and Belle landed right on top of him in the snow.

With her body pressed to his, and their faces only inches apart, she looked into his eyes, for a moment convinced that he was alright, and convinced that maybe a kiss was not such a bad thing to give him.

He held still, almost as though he realized exactly what was going through her mind, and hoping not to destroy the moment, but then, she hesitated again, and she suddenly closed her eyes in resolution before she rolled to his side, laying in the snow as she stared up at the sky.

She would regret it if she gave him a chance. She was sure of it.

_OoOoOoO Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear OoOoOoO_

It was with pain that he beheld how she pulled away again, and as he turned towards her, he saw how she had begun to make a snow angel.

He smiled, even if he knew she did not love him like he did her. She was lovable. He could not blame her for that. And he wasn’t lovable. He could not blame her for feeling that way either.

But he could try to win her friendship back, and he softly said: “It’s good to see you smiling again, Belle…”

She seemed to startle a little at those words, and he continued: “You haven’t smiled in a while… I want you to be happy here though. I truly do.”

She wanted to believe him – she truly did.

_OoOoOoO Hey! Don't listen to a word I say OoOoOoO_

“I thought you wanted me to be happy here!” she shouted at him. Only a week had passed, and though they had grown a little closer since their morning together in the snow, it looked like that had only been temporary.

“I do! I do want you to be happy here!”

“Then why are you covered in blood again!”

As he stood before her, covered in blood, he realized he could not hide that he had killed, but it hadn’t even been a human.

“It was a particularly nasty monster!” he shouted, frustrated that she would not believe him.

 Belle shook her head and gave him a foul gaze.

“The only particularly nasty monster I see around here, is you!”

_OoOoOoO Hey! The screams all sound the same OoOoOoO_

He could not win this argument, not when she thought the ugliest things of him first. She was right, for a part, but he still hated it. He could not change who he was.

“Would you rather have me dead?” he asked, almost screaming at her, but she wasn’t going to let him be the only one to raise his voice.

“I just want peace, Rumplestiltskin! Is that so much to ask for?”

He felt more annoyed than ever.

“You want peace?” he asked harshly. “I’ll give you peace.”

And with that, he whisked away, leaving Belle more confused than anything.

_OoOoOoO 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore OoOoOoO_

As the initial frustration at his cowardly act of running away came to pass, she began to realize that by whisking away, he had actually stopped their argument of growing worse.

Rumplestiltskin realized that if he had staid longer, he would have said things he would have regretted. He hoped that, once he returned, she would have found some forgiveness in her heart. He needed her to forgive him for his outburst, because he didn’t think he could live if she continued to judge him so harshly. He had never tried to hurt her, yet that was what he ended up doing all the time.

She would not believe him if he told her this. To her, the truth of his being was quite different. He was someone harsher to her – someone undeserving of forgiveness… And that thought stopped him from returning to her. He would need to find his own courage first.

_OoOoOoO You're gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear OoOoOoO_

It was a terrifying thought, but he still hadn’t returned since their argument, and it had been weeks.

Luckily, the castle kept her alive. For all its scary sounds at night, it did have its perks too… The kitchen never ran out of food – and the fire was practically always lit in the Great Hall – so maybe she wasn’t as alone as she thought.

She considered running a few times, but then she reminded herself that she had given Rumplestiltskin her word, and she would not break it. She would wait for him. She would even apologize, if it meant she could look him in the eye again. But the wait was taking too long to her liking.

_OoOoOoO All that's left is a ghost of you OoOoOoO_

The Dark One didn’t need much to survive. He could go without food, without sleep, without anything really… But still he ate. Still he slept. In the hopes that these things would keep him from thinking of her.

They did not.

As he tasted food, he only wished to taste her instead. As he slept, he only ever dreamt of her. No matter what he did, she was somehow always there, lingering in the back of his mind, like a ghost that would not go away.

 _OoOoOoO Now we're torn, torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do_ _OoOoOoO_

It had been a month – and Belle thought she was going insane. She needed him to return now. What if something had happened to him? She would not forgive herself. She could not wait for him forever, could she?

She had begun snooping around the magic books. And in those books, she had found mention of a summoning spell. Remembering his potion cabinet in his potions room (the one she was not allowed to enter, though she had entered it half a dozen times already), she went in there to look for the potion she had looked for, and she had found it without any trouble whatsoever.

Then, that evening, she tried to summon him, hoping that she could convince him to come home.

_OoOoOoO Just let me go, we'll meet again soon OoOoOoO_

He could feel the magic before he saw a glass-like reflection before him, and as he looked at his own reflection, he realized that this magic was his own – and that someone had used his summoning spell.

Touching the reflection, the image of Belle, sitting in the Great Hall, came into view, and he felt his heart squeeze together painfully. She was more beautiful than he remembered.

“Rumplestiltskin,” he heard her say, though she sounded worlds away. “Please, come home again… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to chase you out of your own home with my words.”

His lips curled up into a smile. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but he would take it.

“I’ll be home soon,” he promised her, and as he touched the glass reflection again, the vision of her fell away.

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as he tried to see her in his mind. So beautiful – so lovely – if only he could keep them from making the same mistakes around each other again.

_OoOoOoO Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around, I'll see you when I fall asleep OoOoOoO_

Belle was eager to see him return, and she sat in the Great Hall, reading in front of the fire. She didn’t read much though, she was too distracted by the thought of his imminent return, but he took his time.

She had fallen asleep in front of the fire by the time he was back, and he sat on the other edge of the long sofa, looking at her for a long while, admiring her beauty before he allowed himself to sleep as well. She was perfect, and the sight of her warmed his aching and lonely heart.

_OoOoOoO Hey! Don't listen to a word I say OoOoOoO_

They didn’t even make it to breakfast without getting into another heated argument. This time, it was because she had admitted to reading his magic books and going through his potions.

He had recognized it as her potion, and though a part of him had not minded, another part of him could not believe how much she knew about his magic, and it felt like an invasion of privacy.

 _OoOoOoO_ Hey! The screams all sound the same _OoOoOoO_

She could not believe they were having an argument again, but here they were, shouting at each other before she had been able to get him some tea.

For a moment it had been nice, waking up beside him, but then he had started asking questions, and she had been a little too arrogant as she had told him how she’d gone through his stuff.

A bad move, in hindsight, because now they were shouting again.

“The only reason why I went through your stuff was because I was worried about you and wanted you safe, with me!”

 _OoOoOoO Though the truth may vary - This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore_ _OoOoOoO_

He froze a little at those words, but not because of the anger in her voice, but because he realized he was making the same mistakes again. He was close to whisking away because they were arguing again, but he did not want to run anew.

“So you care about me?” he suddenly asked, and at this she startled.

As she looked away, she did not know what to say for a moment, until she realized how silly their bickering was, and she suddenly smiled at him.

“Of course I care about you,” she replied softly. “Even if I don’t want to, I can’t uncare about you.”

He chuckled, now finding their predicament rather funny.

She smiled back at him, seeing the same humor in it that he did.

“You shouldn’t go through my stuff,” he said strictly.

“Well, just fire me if it annoys you,” she teased him, realizing that he wouldn’t, not with their deal that she’d be his caretaker – forever.

He grinned, taking a few steps closer before he wrapped his arms around her, realizing that she wasn’t pulling back from him now. Instead, her hands rested on his chest. She even smiled at him.

“You know, I might not be able to forgive you next time you go through my stuff.”

She chuckled. “I’ll make you forgive me,” she defied him, and as he shot her an intrigued gaze, she suddenly moved closer to him to press a quick kiss to his lips, and at this he felt more invigorated than ever, looking at her with an incredible, but happy gaze.

“You’re gonna need to put in a little more effort if you want me to forgive you,” he teased her, raising a sly eyebrow at her.

She chuckled as she put her hands in his neck now and pulled him closer.

“Just shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”

 

THE END


End file.
